The woman who couldn't remember her husband's birthday

I heard a story about a woman who couldn't remember her husband's birthday. She'd been married before, and her previous husband had liked it very much when she celebrated his birthday in a big way, with balloons, candles, a big cake, special food that he loved, and friends and family. She always bought him a memorable gift. He would remind her months ahead of time that his birthday was coming and what he expected to get for a present, so she never forgot his birthday, ever, and years of marriage cemented his birthday in her head.

That marriage ended badly, and her new husband was different. He thought that since she loved him, she would remember his birthday -- and she did, she thought -- but she was remembering her first husband's birthday, which didn't come until later in the year. He was devastated that she hadn't thought of him, and so was she by his sadness. She vowed she wouldn't forget his birthday again.

A few months later she was looking at the calendar, and next week's date jumped out at her. His birthday! She wasn't going to forget this time. She ordered a cake, all the special foods she was sure he would like because her first husband had like them, bought candles, balloons, and an extra special gift, and invited friends who were ready to surprise him when he walked in the door.

"Surprise!" They all shouted. And was he ever surprised!

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Happy birthday!" they all shouted.

"But it's not my birthday," he said.

"But it is," protested his wife "See the calendar? I marked it right here."

"But that's not my birthday," he said. But the food was there, the friends were there, and the gifts were there, so the party went on. He watched his wife and friends have his birthday party on his not-birthday.

After that experience, he thought maybe she would remember. He mentioned several times that his day was coming. She nodded and smiled, but it seemed she wasn't paying much attention. When his real birthday rolled around, there was no party, even though he had marked it on the calendar. She still had her first husband's birth date firmly fixed in her mind, and it was hard to make room for the new date.

Again there was a big party on his not-birthday, and she jokingly said, "This is such a good time of year for your birthday, don't you think? We'll just celebrate it every year at this time." He was sad again, both on his real birthday and on his not-birthday. How could she really love him if she kept celebrating her first husband's birthday instead of his? 

A new year came, his real birthday passed unnoticed, and when his not-birthday party was celebrated, he wasn't there.

Bible verses about Christmas

For many years I observed Christmas, happy for the celebration time with my family, even though I knew the historical background of the day, that Jesus birthday was unknown, that the early church did not celebrate his birthday, that a command had not been given to celebrate it.

Certainly the world cold not have been saved if Jesus, our Yeshuah/Salvation, had not been born into it, but the early church celebrated his life, death, resurrection, and saving power in our lives. They honored the Sabbath and the Holy Days, never mentioning celebrating the day of Christ's birth.

Christmas, not having been incorporated into church worship during the writing of the Bible, is not  addressed directly, but there are verses that show what God thinks about human tradition, and about how we should worship him (see previous post on False Worship). 

To begin with, let's see what Jesus had to say about tradition vs. God's commands:

From the first few verses of Matthew 15 is the story of some coming to Jesus and asking, "Why do your disciples break with our traditions?" Jesus answered, "Why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?" The questioners and Jesus' answer included specific examples, but his question,
"Why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition?" has a broader application. Jesus went on to say,

⁸ “These people honor me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me.
⁹ They worship me in vain;
    their teachings are merely human rules.”

I remember learning verse 9 from the King James Version as a young child, "But in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrine the commandments of men." It is verse that all seventh-day Sabbath keepers use to bolster our understanding that God's seventh-day Sabbath is still His Holy Day.

What is the command of God as it relates to Christmas trees? I remember when trees were not put into our sanctuary, and if they were, they were not decorated. Now all has changed, and a decorated Christmas tree is the focal point of most church platforms during this season. Should a tree be part of the Christmas celebration in a Christian church?*

Deuteronomy 16:21:

You shall not make a post idol of any trees near unto the altar of the LORD your God, which you shall make you. ~ King James 2000 Bible 

"You shall not plant for yourself an Asherah of any kind of tree beside the altar of the LORD your God, which you shall make for yourself. ~ NASB

I hear someone saying, "The Christmas tree isn't an idol! It's not an Asherah pole! It doesn't mean that to me!" There is plenty about the Christmas tree online, which I encourage you to study for yourself. You will find various histories, but above all, consider the word of God above the words of men.

There is more about a tree in Jeremiah 10:

² This is what the Lord says: 

“Do not learn the ways of the nations
    or be terrified by signs in the heavens,
    though the nations are terrified by them.
³ For the practices of the peoples are worthless;
    they cut a tree out of the forest,
    and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel.
⁴ They adorn it with silver and gold;
    they fasten it with hammer and nails
    so it will not totter.

This verse is about people who create idols out of wood, not specifically about a Christmas tree. Consider how much the Christmas tree is honored, how much time and money is spent on it, how reticent we are to dispense with it even when we know its history. It has become almost an idol; even if it doesn't take the place of God, do I love something so much that I don't want to hear what God says about it? If so, it's an idol. "But it doesn't mean that to me!" we say.

Other verses regarding heathen nations include Lev. 18:3 and Lev. 20:23, warning Israel against following the customs of Egypt in their past, and the customs of those who would be driven out before them in their future. The warnings to Israel are cautions to us today. The Lord said, "Learn not the ways of the heathen," and yet that is exactly what we have done, bringing them into our churches and homes.

Deuteronomy 7 maybe cause us to have second thoughts about bringing something into our home that has been adopted from heathen practices:

²⁵ The images of their gods you are to burn in the fire. Do not covet the silver and gold on them, and do not take it for yourselves, or you will be ensnared by it, for it is detestable to the Lord your God. 
²⁶ Do not bring a detestable thing into your house or you, like it, will be set apart for destruction. Regard it as vile and utterly detest it, for it is set apart for destruction.

"But it doesn't mean that to me!" On the other hand, what does it mean to God?

* Seventh-day Adventists will point to a specific quote Ellen White said about Christmas trees. I will study her quotes in a separate post.

False worship with good intentions

In this holiday season, I've been thinking about the pros and cons of celebrating Christmas. Three different Bible stories came to mind:

Cain

During a group Bible study about Cain and Abel, one commented that this was the first example of the wrong persecuting the right for religious reasons. I'd never thought of it in those terms before. Here was Cain, the horticulturist, offering the best he had, the results of the labor of his own hands. His brother Abel, the shepherd, could offer the fruit of his own labor, so why couldn't he? On top of that, giving fruits and veggies was more of a sacrifice in those days, because meat had not yet become a part of the diet, so what good was a lamb other than for wool? It was no big sacrifice to give a lamb. Cain was thinking, "I'm making a bigger sacrifice, from my own heart. This will please God." 

Cain wanted to change God's Word to accommodate his own life. I thought, In what ways do I choose to worship and honor God in my own way instead of the way He has asked me to?

King Saul

"To obey is better than sacrifice" was the message of God to King Saul, when he wanted to "buy" his standing with God, perhaps in the same way that many use the confessional these days: to knowingly go against God's Word with the belief that the priest's absolvement will make everything right. Judging by Saul's actions, he thought giving sacrifices actually brought forgiveness of sins, not understanding the why behind the sacrifices, that they were an object lesson that should lead the sinner to abhor sin, to understand that God was the Forgiver. Saul went against God's instruction, thinking his many sacrifices would set the balances in his direction, giving so much that it wouldn't matter that he had disobeyed.

How many of us, even without active thought, think that our good lives or our care for others will make up for blatantly going against God's Word?

Uzzah

One morning I was studying the story of Uzzah being struck dead for merely touching the ark in an attempt to save it from falling, and I felt how solemn a story it is -- how it shows that God can't accept worship or service that is done contrary to His revealed will, even if the people have good intentions in doing it. It is expressed well in this paragraph:

"David and his people had assembled to perform a sacred work, and they had engaged in it with glad and willing hearts; but the Lord could not accept the service, because it was not performed in accordance with His directions. The Philistines, who had not a knowledge of God’s law, had placed the ark upon a cart when they returned it to Israel, and the Lord accepted the effort which they made. But the Israelites had in their hands a plain statement of the will of God in all these matters, and their neglect of these instructions was dishonoring to God. Upon Uzzah rested the greater guilt of presumption. Transgression of God’s law had lessened his sense of its sacredness, and with unconfessed sins upon him he had, in face of the divine prohibition, presumed to touch the symbol of God’s presence. God can accept no partial obedience, no lax way of treating His commandments. By the judgment upon Uzzah He designed to impress upon all Israel the importance of giving strict heed to His requirements. Thus the death of that one man, by leading the people to repentance, might prevent the necessity of inflicting judgments upon thousands." PP 705.3

As clearly as that is said, it is hard to take, isn't it? For so long Christians leaned so heavily on teaching the law and the danger of hellfire, that now, seeing our error, we are bending over backwards to show the love of God, His forgiveness, His mission of salvation. This story just doesn't seem to fit our new understanding. Yet it is in the Bible, and there is a message for us: God wishes to be worshiped in the way that He has said. I don't believe God is making a "Do this or else" statement without reason behind it.

What is the reason God gave us instructions on how to worship him? One is that if we don't, little by little, imperceptibly over the years, we can stray so far from His plan for us to enjoy happy and fulfilling lives, that we can end up worshiping His creation instead of Him, worshiping Him in ways that those who don't believe in Him worship their own gods, or even, as ancient Israel, end up sacrificing our children to gods of our own choosing.

It is revealing to study the history of Christmas in light of Israel's constant falling away from God. Each time they made a little change, they might have been saying to themselves, "The nations around us have an innovative way to worship their gods that we can incorporate into worship of the True God," and thus they started down the slippery slope.

We all know that Jesus wasn't born on December 25, that it was a pagan celebration that wasn't officially incorporated into the church for several hundred years, about the same time that Sunday worship became official in the church. Both Sunday and Christmas came into the church for the same reason: to help nonChristians feel at home in their new religion. Christian reasons were given for observing the day and to explain the symbols of the day. Does it matter that ancient pagans had a different understanding behind the symbols of Christmas that we take for granted?

The excuse most will make for observing Christmas, with all its decorations and celebrations, even when they know its history, is, "But it doesn't mean that to me!" If your intent is to worship God, and you have no thought of ever worshiping anyone but God, it doesn't matter, right?

Before deciding on the answer, consider the stories of Cain, King Saul, and Uzzah, who thought they could choose their own way to follow God's will.